so soon

I’m sad. Sad because I only have a couple of ‘days’ left before returning back to work. Not that I don’t enjoy my work, I do – but I don’t think I’m ready to leave my little one(s) just yet. I still feel my maternity leave is short, esp. since I have just started to recover and now, the thought of going back to work asap makes me cry. I know I’ll be leaving my baby in good hands (with my mom!) but I would really like to be here for him, for them. But to be a stay-at-home mom at this moment is unthinkable, at least financially speaking. Emotionally? hmmm, I’d like to be at home with them. I would like to take them to school and to their activities. I would like to spend more time with them. Physically? I’ll be drained. Would I complain? Probably. At the state that I am in…I’ll probably complain and at the same time enjoy. I don’t know how my mom did it. She took care of 4 kids, the house, and worked on the side. I bet she had complains but I never really heard about them, either that or my memory is slowing me down.

Anyway, I’m sad that I have to go back to work soon. I know I would manage as I did with my other 2 but I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. However, I am thankful because I know that I can leave him with someone who will truly love and take care of him.

I know God has good plans for us and I know one day, I’ll be spending more time with my kids than work.